Waiting Well

Frankly, it’s been quite some time since I’ve taken advantage of this platform of posting.  A majority of the time welcoming people into my journey overseas was a little more driven toward Facebook and instagram, which definitely did their part well; however, when I’ve taken the time to read over some of the amazing blogs Racers before me and even on my upcoming squad have taken the time to write out, the extension of their transparency has welcomed me to reconsider some of my own dubious habits when withdrawing from the conversation on,… honestly,.. how I’m doing.

 

I remember so clearly the state of worry and even some doubt I carried a number of days and weeks before my last international launch over a year ago.  The lingering questions on if it was for me, and sure,…. even the worry of what I’d be leaving behind in the grand scheme of things.

The thing that honestly made it all the more daunting Was-The-Wait-Ing!  So much space to second guess what was ahead,… which is where the Lord intervened and truly helped me evaluate the bigger things to consider… the Why. 

 

WHY would almost a year of living among destitution be for me?

WHY would living among strangers be in my best interest?

WHY would living in a tent or hostel be a home run move instead of just getting an apartment and working for the life people my age are pretty ambitious for?

…… because I’m CALLED to.

 

It was knowing that I was CALLED to see such a radical and humble lifestyle through, rather than just going on a personal limb, that assured me that I truly am apart of a bigger will than any man can craft!

The thing that lingered though, which is more or less where I find myself to this day…. again… the waiting.

 

The waiting for manifestations.

The waiting for clarity.

The waiting for further confirmation.

The waiting to see where faith comes to fruition.

 

My father’s expressed the caveat of waiting time and time again, ‘Don’t stand so close to the blessing, you miss it.’

Through that, I’m continuously learning that when you’re anticipating for your expectations of His will ahead, you’re simply missing out on the one He’s calling you in today!

 

My father’s played a great role in the reminder of how to ‘wait well.’

I’ve been blessed for time to turn to His word daily,

Blessed with a steady seasonal job to save for ahead,

Blessed with a home with a family that pray immensely in my favor for what’s ahead,

Blessed with a community I‘m close to,

…. and in all, I can still welcome some voices of worry, the spirit of insufficiency, depression, and other ways I somewhat misunderstand who He is, which can breed some uncertainty in my identity.

ALL our identity issues are fundamental misunderstandings of who God is. 

Guilt issues are a misunderstanding of God’s grace. 

Control issues are a misunderstanding of God’s sovereignty. 

Anger issues are a misunderstanding of God’s mercy. 

Pride issues are a misunderstanding of God’s greatness.

And

Trust issues are a misunderstanding of God’s goodness. 

 

The key in all that… is to discern His whisper in the waiting.

Mind you, God definitely possesses an outside voice, and He’s not afraid to use it.  But when He wants to be heard, when what He has to say is too important to miss, He often speaks in a whisper just above the absolute threshold of hearing.  We must lean toward a whisper, not for JUST hearing His voice,.. but for the sake of intimacy.

 

With that said…. If we struggle with any of those issues it’s time to let God be the loudest voice in our life!

 

I’m continuously learning to recognize His voice above my own, the enemy, and the world.  While I have a whole lot more world to see in the coming year with this Race,… I pray I don’t attempt to postpone His conditioning spirit in me for the sake of waiting for MY time on the field,….but all the more believing in His sovereignty in my life WHEREVER I am!

Thank you so much for reading and your continuous prayers!